The Laws of Attraction
by Hybridbabe
Summary: When the events of tracking down an Ancient weapon against the Ori lead to him hungover, with her in his bed and a ring on his finger, Daniel Jackson learns the meaning of marriage and comfort from Vala Mal Duran. [Post TPTB]
1. 1: All That Glitters Ain’t Gold

**Fiction Title:** The Laws of Attraction  
**Pairing:** Daniel/Vala  
**Rating:** HIGH PG-13 (for hinted sexual content, language, and torture)  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing! I just stole the toys out of the toy box because I loved playing with them so much!  
**Summary:** When the events of tracking down an Ancient weapon against the Ori lead to him hungover, with her in his bed and a ring on his finger, Daniel Jackson learns the meaning of marriage and comfort from Vala Mal Duran. (Post TPTB)

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**Chapter Title:** Chapter One: All That Glitters Ain' Gold  
**Author's Note:** This blossomed from me thinking of those old movies where the guy wakes up in a hotel/motel room, hung over, and suddenly married to some girl or another. I thought, since I love the Daniel/Vala ship, and practically think they're married already, that this would the most opportune time to use that plot, and give it a Stargate twist. Won't lie, this fic is an acid trip. You will sigh shippy sighs, scream shrieking screams, and you will want to either hug me for my brilliance, or throw multiple tomatoes at my head. That's ok with me; I'm sort of used to it by now ;) lol! Anyway, here we go! Enjoy!

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There were a lot more delicate ways to say how much he hated Vala Mal Duran, and more ways than one he could use them, but Daniel Jackson had grown to be a very blunt man.

A very, _very_ blunt man with not a whole hell of a lot of patience.

"Don't. Touch," he growled, slapping her head away, for what seemed like the umpteenth time, from the various baubles and trinkets, glittering gold, scattered about on top of the tabletops in his office. "They're not for you, will never be for you, and if you don't quit it, I'm going to ask Landry to put you in ISO-1."

Her pink, translucent lips drew up into a puckered pout, while her gray-blue eyes softened with whimpering protest. "Oh, come on, Daniel, they're so tempting, and my fingers twitch," she begged in her usual, lilting accent that sounded not-quite Australian. "You can't expect me to sit here and behave myself when you tempt me with all that's glittery and golden. It's going to drive me crazy, and you know how I get when I get crazy for something."

He could feel more than see her lithe, slender body growing closer and closer to his own, bending over his shoulder and tantalizing him with a clear shot of her cleavage in that tight, black leather corset she wore the first moment she walked through the Stargate two months ago. Having been bored with the usual, military garbs the SGC had provided, she'd slipped back into this number recently, whether it was because she missed the feel of silken leather or to please him, he didn't know. At least her dress wasn't as short as that leather skirt she begged him to buy her with his credit card...

Just thinking about her, how beautiful she was in whatever she chose to wear, was enough to make him deliberately bury himself in his work. And he would've succeeded at it too if it weren't for the damned bracelets, and their pseudo-hold over them didn't make them spend every waking moment together in some degree or another.

Daniel sighed, then realized he'd kept her waiting for a reply. He barely turned in her direction, and cringed embarrassingly when his peripheral vision caught sight of her left breast peeking out of her outfit. "I'm going to go crazy if you don't back off."

Vala, however, wouldn't let him go though, noticing his gazed and smiled in that sly, seductive way she had. Oh, she wouldn't let him go, not after that, and as if to further discomfort him, she contorted her body in such a way as to give him a better show of what she had to offer.

Damn her for being the elusive minx he often, unwillingly fancied about, and berated himself for doing it! Who the hell was she anyway, sauntering in and out, without so much as an invitation, and interfering with the life he had so painstakingly created within the SGC? For the past seven years, excluding the year or so he'd spent dying, ascending and descending again, he'd lived his life within these walls, enjoying his moments of studying ancient cultures, mysteries, and other paraphernalia of the sort. He'd had a system to his life, a scheduled order that kept him on task and on time in order to reach his goals; that first had been to find Sha're, then afterward, her child, then finally getting his feet back on the ground and helping to save the world. He wasn't a big hero, no fanfare would play when he succeeded or achieved his accomplishments, but his ordered life kept him happy, and spoke volumes for what he did for the betterment of humanity.

Then, she went ahead and screwed it up from the moment she whipped off her Kull warrior helmet, shook her long, beautiful black hair, and grinned at him. Since then, every moment within her proximity was one fiasco after another, from the little trip around space in the Prometheus, to the sideshow awaiting them in the Ori home galaxy, to her little slice of heaven, where she was crowned a goddess to all that beheld her...

Did he really think that? Daniel shook his head vehemently and rubbed his already red and watery eyes with a free hand, tapping his pencil against the white legal pad on the table with the other. He needed to stop thinking things like that... "Could you please behave yourself, and not be a distraction? I'm trying to do my job."

"Do I distract you?" she purred in his ear, sending involuntary shivers tap-dancing up and down his spine. "You know, I can do much more than just displaying every wonderful thing above my stomach. I can assure you that I'm well-endowed in other aspects of my body, if you're willing to look at those too."

A sharp breath surged icily down his windpipe so fast he coughed and sputtered, trying to control his growing libidinous urges. "N-n-no, that's the last thing I need right now, Vala." He picked up a silver, metallic locket encrusted with what looked like diamonds, rubies, emeralds and sapphires, and began an attempt to pop it open, trying to pay attention to the scrolling Ancient script imprinted on the lid. Unable to read it, he pulled his lamp closer. "Now, if you'll be so kind as to leave..."

Vala slung her arm around his shoulders, a few strands of her long, ebony hair tumbling down her shoulders and his shirt. "And what if I don't want to go? We've already spent a lot of time together, and you haven't shooed me away yet, so I'm assuming that you're more than comfortable with my presence."

"No, I'm not, and I could get rid of you any time I want to."

"Then why don't you?"

"I thought I just did!"

"But, what if I don't want to go?" she responded with a hint of flirtatious playfulness.

"I can still find a way to get rid of you by force. By a woman. Then I know you won't have him on a chain like your personal lap dog."

She changed the subject spontaneously, something he didn't know whether to be comforted or extremely annoyed by. Then again, that was Vala for you, with her undiagnosed ADD. "Why are you doing all this, this cataloging thing now? It's been at least a month since our date in Avalon."

"That wasn't a date! You very nearly got us killed!"

"It was too! An exotic place, lots of beautiful scenery, and we both were happy when we came back out, so I'd call that a date."

He half-smiled under protest from his brain, feeling the giddy, familiar bubble of adventurous excitement all archaeologists were prone to have spring up in his stomach again, especially when they found what could possibly be the find of the millennia. "It wasn't a date, even though the locale was nice."

"See? Anyway, why are you going through all these things? I mean, they're just gold, trinkets, jewels and such, nothing like the usual, dusty old manuscripts written in half-dead languages that you so love to decode. Why bother with a few coins and necklaces?"

"You know, contrary to popular belief, artifacts written in Ancient or Goa'uld aren't the only things worth looking at. Occasionally, I do get a few of these things running around, and since they do fit into the category of 'Things of Great Historical Value', I do have the authority to look them over and make sure they're not dangerous." He glared at her out of the corner of her eye. "To make sure they won't blow up in my face or involuntarily bind me to a certain smuggling sneak thief."

Vala shrugged at his jab, and he saw her nod a few times in agreement. "Then again, you have your job and I have mine. You're one of those 'ologist' things, so I assume this is your version of a Goa'uld power trip. What are you again? Amphibologist, or something?"

Daniel snorted. "Oh yeah, that's what I am alright. Only I flunked biology in high school, and had to take it over the summer."

"Maybe you weren't studying the right specimen."

Damn, she did it again, turned everything he said so innocently into something sexual that he didn't even mean! And he had fallen for it, again, for the millionth time, something he swore up and down he wouldn't let happen. For all his brains, he was beginning to think he was an idiot... at least from Vala's perspective.

He turned to protest but immediately wretched his neck back with a sharp breath, a ruby red blush spreading to practically his ears. Blushing? Around Vala for crying out loud? What the hell was wrong with him? "God, Vala! Would you j-just get out of my face?"

Smiling innocently, she gave a wink for his troubles, and stuck out her chest slightly as if she didn't hear him, something he hated himself for noticing. "See something you like?" she cooed, playing with a few stray hairs on the back of his head. "You could see more than that if you wanted to. I could show you."

"Why'd you put that on again?" he flustered irritably, slapping at her hand and running his own through his short brown hair. "I thought the military garbs suited you."

"Maybe I like wearing this outfit because I knew you couldn't resist it. I mean, I went ahead and picked it out especially for you when I stole--I mean, bought it."

"Did a damned good job..." he muttered under his breath impulsively, and painfully squeezed his eyes shut for thinking it, let alone saying it.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, nothing at all."

A long, pale finger poked him in the stomach, and he cringed. "No, really, what did you say? I want to know."

Locking his blue eyes onto hers, he couldn't help messing with her. Hell, she'd done it more than enough times to him, so why not? It was her turn. "Then keep wondering Vala, because I'm not going to."

Her leg began to rub against his, something he definitely wasn't used to, and he tried to best ignore her. "Oh come on, Daniel, I do so love to hear you drone on and on over the most ridiculous of--"

Suddenly, the locket drew al his attention and he paused, contemplating the meaning of the script upon it. "Vala, shut up."

"What?"

"Just shut up for a second..."

When she protested, the archeologist cut her off with a quick hiss from his tongue and teeth, continuing to squint at the trinket in his hand. Using the pencil as a crude pick, he gave the outside edge one, two, three jimmies before it finally sprung open with a barely audible creak, the hinges slightly rusted over. Inside the locket was a small device, a little smaller than the container itself, with tiny, dancing lights glittering and twinkling underneath the locket lid's umbra. Within moments, the whole thing vibrated, grew warm, and hummed in his hand. A tinny, metallic sound rose and fell slightly before a seven-inch image projected itself upward, and began to speak.

It was a woman, that much was clear, but a half naked one. Long, curly black hair tumbled from her shoulders like a waterfall, stopping at the side holes cut into the sides of her emerald green dress; the holes themselves allowed for a flap to cover her backside, and one for the front, with her legs, long and slender, to be seen otherwise. A diamond cut framed with a design in gold thread revealed her midriff, tattooed with what seemed like Celtic symbols around her navel. Her arms were covered in symbols of the same genre, gauntlets encasing her wrists to the elbows and adorned with the same sapphires as on the locket itself. The upper part of the dress seemed almost non-existent, just a band of fabric to cover all but where the diamond cut out gouged into it, and attached at the back with four long strips of silk. Everywhere he gazed, Daniel saw some type of see-through, gold and pink silk, wrapping around her neck, shoulders, and even a veil spewing from the back of the golden crown of leaves in her hair.

She was absolutely gorgeous, with deep set green eyes, additionally embellished with a similar shade of eye shadow. Gold paint accented her cheek bones, framed her eyes and tattooed her temples with pagan symbols, perfectly complimenting her tanned skin and ruby red lips.

At first, her voice was drowned from recognition, for time had slurred and distorted the words. But, little by little, the device readjusted itself, and the recording began again, the Welsh language clearly heard. "_Dydd da. Fy enwi Morgan le Fey_."

Entranced, he completely forgot his companion, who promptly slapped his shoulder. "What's it saying? Is it saying about anything valuable? I don't understand it!"

"Vala, shut up, I can't think..."

"What did she say?"

"'Good day, my name is Morgan Le Fey'. That's what it said." His eyes bugged a bit when he realized what he said. "Morgan Le Fey?"

The recording continued. "_--canlyniad gan y anysbryd adwed, fi cael aswy y allwedd at y porth yn hwn crair_." Suddenly, the image changed, and a group of symbols appeared in front of them that looked suspiciously like...

"Stargate coordinates," murmured the thief, edging closer to get a good look at them. "Somewhere far. That first symbol is only used for the farthest reaches of this galaxy."

Daniel nodded, continuing the translation. "'In the event the evil spirits return, I have left the key to the door in this relic'..."

"_Fi gobaith y gwlad hwnt Avalon bodd cymorth chi yn dy siwrnai at gorchfygiad y cas o ni cwbl_."

"'I hope the land beyond Avalon will aid you on your journey to defeat the enemy of us all'."

"_Hawddamor, enwi cyfaill. Fi gobaith chi cael gwell damwain na fi_."

"'Good luck, my friend. I hope you have better luck than I'."

Vala stared, her eyebrow raising. "What was that?"

Daniel shook his head, as spooked as she was. "I have no idea, but I'm sure I can find out..."

"Landry?"

He nodded. "Give me an hour or two, and then we'll see him. If this means what I think it means, we've just been assigned our newest mission."

She grinned and winked at him. "And you say you're not a treasure hunter."


	2. 2: The Mystery of the Tablet

**Fiction Title:** Laws of Attraction  
**Pairing:** Daniel/Vala  
**Rating:** HIGH PG-13 (for hinted sexual content, language, and torture)  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing! I just stole the toys out of the toy box because I loved playing with them so much!  
**Summary:** When the events of tracking down an Ancient weapon against the Ori lead to him hungover, with her in his bed and a ring on his finger, Daniel Jackson learns the meaning of marriage and comfort from Vala Mal Duran. (Post TPTB)

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**Chapter Title:** Chapter Two: The Mystery of the Tablet  
**Author's Note:** Thank you all for your wonderful notes here and there! I really do appreciate it severely. Sometimes a little note is all it takes for a girl to kick her blues and feel appreciated because of the warm fuzzies! Unfortunately, not to the ooey-gooey stuff yet, and there's barely any D/V shippage in this fic, but it's hopefully still good. Hope you enjoy this next chapter!

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Daniel readjusted his glasses, blinked a few times, then clicked the black button on his projector remote towards the screen behind him with unabashed glee, his archaeological nature running away with him again. "Avalon," he stated proudly, glancing at those sitting around the conference table to make sure they were all listening. "The secret was in Avalon all along, but we just didn't have the time to notice it at the time."

Glancing at the picture of the Avalon caves displayed, Lieutenant Colonel Cameron Mitchell raised a hand with a look of half-confusion, half-sarcastic. "Uh, Jackson? Weren't we just there not even a month ago? Our guys searched that place up and down, but they didn't find anything. You even poked around yourself and got the same result."

"I am in agreement with Colonel Mitchell," affirmed Teal'c with a raised eyebrow. "There appears to be nothing remarkable about the Avalon caves."

Were they really that dense? Couldn't they smell a gold mine when they saw one, right in front of their faces? Couldn't they just smell the priceless baubles waiving in the air? But then, Vala remembered, and she silently hung her head with despondent pity. Oh yes, how could she have forgotten? These were **men** she was dealing with, the most stubborn, blind, and overestimated gender in the history of any species in creation. How could she have forgotten that so quickly?

Rolling her eyes and voicelessly wondering how in the world such a planet came to be ruled by such a sex, she cleared her throat loudly. "Why don't you all pay attention, hmm? Daniel has something to say. You better all pay attention, or else you'll miss it."

Mitchell glanced at her and smirked. "Gee, you're in a hurry. Is that because whatever it is that Jackson's talking about has something to do with everything sparkly, or what, Miss Mal Doran?"

She chose to ignore him. "Daniel's right, you know. He wasn't the only one who saw the recording in the locket. I saw it too, and the sooner we go out and look into it, the bigger the chance that we'll get there before someone else does."

An awkward, uncertain smile spread across her Daniel's face, most likely caused by his uneasiness of her being the one to support him this go around, but he refused to let the situation go. "Hate to say it, but Vala's right; this is worth looking into. Believe me, if we don't look into it now, the Priors and the Ori will discover and destroy it before we can."

"But what exactly **is** it that we're talking about?" questioned Landry, his terse tone prompting Daniel to get to the point. "All I have to go on is your archaeological curiosity."

"Oh, we have more than that, General," he responded, an enthusiastic grin spreading across his face. "We have more than just that." He clicked the remote again, this time, bringing up a very familiar photograph of the tablet Vala had brought a few weeks ago. Looking as ancient and worn as it had before, this time around, a neon yellow overlay highlighted a section of the text, bringing that section into attention. Daniel pointed at it with his finger and blurted, "This is hard evidence that there was more to Avalon than we thought there was."

Mitchell tilted his head left and right, contemplating. "What exactly are we looking at?"

"Upon my first inspection of the tablet Vala gave us, I eventually managed to translate it with the code she provided, and it led us to Avalon. However, what I didn't realize was that the cipher didn't just work once: it worked twice."

Vala continued for him, glowing with pride. "When you turn the tablet upside down and read the text backwards, most of the description on it is gibberish, but the text you see on the screen says something different entirely."

"Right," he nodded, grinning. "When I first translated it, it said '_Dim drwg ar gwyryfols acha eu hynt trwodd y cartreflu am Myrddin_", or 'No harm upon maidens on their way through the forces of Merlin'."

"And, this means...?"

"Well, at first, I thought this was just part of the code of chivalry. You see, in all texts about the Arthurian legends mentions something to the extent of 'uphold a maiden's honor' and so forth. Knights incorporated it into everything that held meaning to them. In reality though, it doesn't matter what that phrase means because I actually mistranslated it."

"'Mistranslated'?" inquired Teal'c, curious. "Are you certain, Daniel Jackson?"

"Oh yeah," he replied proudly for the first time. "I screwed up. Big time. You see, the word in the cipher says 'forces' or more accurately, 'militia'. However, it was only when I **didn't** use the code that I realized what it really said: 'no harm upon maidens on their way through the home of Merlin'."

It took a moment for it to click, but when it did, Mitchell's eyes widened. Slack jawed, he did a double take and glared at the screen. "You mean to tell me that we're looking at an invitation to party at Merlin's house? The Crystal Cave?"

"Exactly."

Teal'c immediately looked doubtful and confused, although Vala couldn't tell which was which just yet. "What is this Crystal Cave that you speak of?"

"I read that story," replied Landry, and explained, "_The Crystal Cave_ was a book written by Mary Stewart, and it told about how Merlin becomes a wizard."

"It's been theorized that Mrs. Stewart might have been right about the cave mentioned in that trilogy, because she did extensive research on Merlin in order to write her books," added the archaeologist. "I've spent a few days rereading some of the findings she used and I'm convinced the Crystal Cave is a real place, and the coordinates the locket gave are the way there."

"But there's a catch, isn't there, Daniel?" interrupted Vala, winking at him slyly. "It says so on the inscription. There's a catch to all of it."

Reluctantly, he nodded, and sighed. "According to the legends, Merlin guarded his secrets obsessively. He had the power of foresight and precognition, which could be pretty powerful if he was forced to share them with other people. However, his one weakness was women, and after he fell in love with a woman named Nimue, the Lady of the Lake, he began to share his secrets with her. Eventually, she betrayed him, cast a sleeping spell upon him and imprisoned him for all eternity."

Landry interjected. "Right, right. So what does this have to do with us?"

"Sir, if the dialing code does lead to Merlin's stronghold, there is only one way to get whatever secrets are within it. We need to send a woman to slip past any defense Merlin might have installed to prevent any male intruders from entering."

"Correction, not just any woman," replied Vala with glee, hopping up from her chair and draping an arm around Daniel's shoulder. "You need to send me."

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"I don't like it," snapped the general, glaring at the three men of SG-1 with contempt as soon as they entered his office and closed the door. "We can't trust her, can't depend on her. She's a walking disaster waiting to happen, and I will not allow her to make off with some device we can use against the Ori and watch as she fences it for a couple bucks." 

Daniel nodded, but objected. "I know you don't trust her, sir. Hell, I don't trust her either, but I think this time she'll come through for us, especially if her life's on the line. She hates the Ori as much as we do, and I think for the moment, the enemy of our enemy is our friend."

Mitchell agreed whole heartedly, and the bearded man was happy he had the support. "Sir, permission to speak freely."

"Go ahead."

"She'll kick ass in there," he replied, grinning. "Jackson's right: Vala's not one for grudges, but the Ori not only tried to burn her to death--"

"--twice," added Daniel.

"--But they also tried to kill her people with a prior plague. Needless to say, she hates them as much as we do, and if there's anything she can do to help stop them, she'll do it, no questions asked."

Teal'c also acquiesced. "I concur with Daniel Jackson and Colonel Mitchell," he replied with a faint smile. "Vala Mal Doran is indeed honorable when it comes to matters of the Ori. She will prove to be invaluable on this mission."

"I can't believe what I'm hearing," cried Landry, staring at them all with a mix of shock and confusion. "You mean to tell me that you want to place the fate of this facility, not to mention the free god damned world, in the hands of a thief?"

"Oh... not just a thief," responded Daniel slyly, glancing through the window at the dark-haired woman glaring at them, "We'll trust her with this mission, but we're not **that** stupid to let her go alone."

"Then what are you...? Oh."

"Sir, request permission to scrounge up a team of female SG officers to go with Vala to the Crystal Cave," asked Mitchell, "including one particular one that could keep our little vixen in place."

"Colonel Carter?"

"Yes sir, if she'll come."

"I'll recall her immediately from Area 51. Well, let's get to it, shall we?" he smiled sternly at them all. "I'll make the call. Looks like you all have yourselves a mission."

"Oooh, yay," replied Daniel, "Let's just hope she doesn't screw it up."


End file.
